Neverwas (a very short story)


Megha Sharma

A usual day it was. I was busy punching data aimlessly but there was a zest nevertheless. The office was new and I was seeking to fit in.

He walked in nonchalantly with nothing assuming about him or his walk. He walked in with an easy grace and little talk. I felt nothing.

Introductions continued for the better part of a month. Every day I met somebody new, somebody different.

What followed were evenings of fun and intellectual discussions over endless cups of chai and piping hot samosas. The genial familiarity encouraged me to open up and make friends with most and share endearing ties with some.

All this time, it was creeping towards me and I was blissfully ignorant. I was being pulled inexorably into its dreaded vortex but what was to be done.

This might sound like one of those nauseous platitudes about Life that grace the covers of ‘Art of Living’ books, but is true nevertheless. Life is a mystery, it surprises you when you least expect it and irony is its favourite progeny.

The fates had once again dealt me a rough hand or so I thought at that time (and probably still do). The evenings took on a torturous bent. Conversations now came heavily encumbered with emotional mores that played in my head like a second track at the end of each day.

All through this he was the same. Supportive like a rock, but emotionally unyielding to my silent pleas. I might seem like the one wronged here but the fact of the matter was that he was never to blame.

I was not the inspiration he sought. I was not even somebody he would have needed to impress.. I was already there. He already had me.

And so it continued and still goes on, the only saving grace being the friendship that was and always will be more dearer to me.

I am relatively at peace now. The abyss has finally engulfed me within but like death, it too brings a soothing finality with itself.

I mull and I mull over it time and again. Who is to blame here? Who am I to hold by the scuff of their necks and rattle till I get what I want?

Maybe I will allow somebody in someday and will put the much mooted healing powers of sharing to use. And then maybe.. just maybe.. I will conquer this once and for all.

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~ by eugenicist on December 31, 2008.

2 Responses to “Neverwas (a very short story)”

  1. A-ha! Someone’s in love!

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